Sometimes what you want to say comes out in pieces. I have wanted to share this for weeks, but I haven’t been satisfied with the results. However my desire to share has outweighed my tendency to be very critical of myself. So here goes…
Earlier this year I followed a friend’s lead and went in search of a word for the year. The idea being that this word would give me focus. I haven’t been as intentional as I would like spiritually, and when I found myself more aware and concerned about this I knew I needed something, something simple to anchor myself to.
At first one word was hard to come by, so this verse became my starting point:
Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” -John 13:7 NIV
This settled easily into my thoughts as I tried to keep my worrying spirit at rest. But I was still on the lookout.
It was months later when I was reading from another chapter in John that my word found me. I was reading John 15, where Jesus compares his relationship to us as a vine with many branches. I kept coming back to the phrases about remaining in him or remaining in his love. Without a doubt this was my word! It fit so perfectly with my verse from John 13. The word remain(s) is in verses 1-17 of chapter 15 a total of eleven times!! I was relieved to have been shown my anchor.
This word was fitting because I felt like I was waiting, but I didn’t feel like waiting was a very comforting or active word. Remaining however takes intentionality (yes I made that word up).
As much as I’d like to run to the point in my life where I am more put together, I know that’s not God’s plan. I mean me running is a sight few have seen, it’s probably best I start slow.
I also think I have too much to look at right now anyway. God is giving me glimpses as I remain. Glimpses of ways I’m able to help right now. Glimpses of a me that is putting herself out there. Glimpses of a more clear connection with Him.
So for now I stay, not “waiting on God”, but remaining in Him as he works on me.
Perhaps you feel like you are waiting on God. Maybe He isn’t giving you the answer you want. I pray that you and I can lean on him and have faith; because His plan is beyond our thoughts and dreams.
-Shari
(Originally written Jan 2015 here)
